30 Days of Gratitude: Facebook
So…it is pretty clear that I have an active relationship with the Facebook! :)
I first joined FB six years ago. I was a relative latecomer to this particular social experience. I recall being so excited those first few months as I reconnected with people from all segments of my life. As a middle-ager, I had lots of prior life segments. One thing that has always been important to me is that my FB friend list closely mirrors my actual life social circle. Meaning, I have to have had some sort of relationship with you outside of FB in order for us to be FB friends. I have always been a bit amused at getting friend requests from people I may have encountered exactly one time. Or those that I may see fairly regularly but to whom I have never actually spoken. Or, there’s the time a fellow member of a Hosta FB group tried to friend me after I posted a picture of my hosta garden. Apparently a mutual admiration of hostas was enough in this person’s mind for us to be FB friends.
In an OCD moment, I printed out a list of my FB friends. I then subdivided them in a fancy pie chart….see if you can put yourself in the proper slice of Debbie Russell’s life. The numbers are only approximate: 12 family members, 19 friends from childhood through high school, 24 from college, 13 from law school, 73 from work (including friends I met through friends from work) and 6 that I only know through FB. The remaining slice? DOG FRIENDS!!! I suppose if I did not have to go to work, I could have continued to subdivide the dog slice into smaller slices of agility, flyball, obedience, field training, Toller and FCR. I have one very good friend who started out as a neighbor, but now can go in the dog slice. :) It sure is amazing to think that dog ownership can expand one’s social circle by so much.
What has been interesting to me is to see how people approach FB differently in terms of what they post. For many, it is an opportunity to promote political views. I try to tolerate most of those posts, but I have found that the “unfollow” button can be a useful ally when the entire content of a person’s posts are political memes. I am not a fan of divisive memes. I also employ the “hide post” button on occasion, like when someone posts the meme of our president photo shopped to look like a terrorist. For me, those buttons help ME to make MY feed about what I want to see. I can like you as a person, but just not like the things you post. On the other hand, I adore hilarious memes. Can’t get enough of them!
It also seems that people either respond to the Facebook with love or hate. A good friend quit FB earlier this year and has no intention of coming back. People reacted rather extremely to this, even going so far as to suggest she had become ill. That would be hilarious if it weren’t so stupid. In trying to figure out what went wrong for her, I think that perhaps her more relaxed approach to friend requests may have led to this feeling of suffocation.
I have tried to assess where I fit on the FB Spectrum. I know that I am careful with what I post. I have to be, considering my job. But I also have no desire to launch grenades. We have enough of that in the real world. I subscribe to pages that make me happy. I join groups where I think I might learn a thing or two. One friend told me straight out to my face that I posted SO MUCH. I responded by customizing my posts so he doesn’t have to see them. I admit I spend A LOT of time on FB. As far as I’m concerned, FB is perfect for the outgoing introvert.
I think the bottom line is that FB is what you make it. If it is a relentless cause of frustration, maybe you are better off giving it up. Another option is to modify your newsfeed so that it brings you cheer, not exasperation. Finally, if you look at your friend list, do you know everyone on it? Can you identify when, where and how each person came into your life? I can, and for that, I am grateful for FB. It allows me to maintain contact with people who may not be near to me geographically, but will always be near to my heart. :)