30 Days of Gratitude: Increased Flexibility
“Be willing to change because life won’t stay the same.” - Unknown
The day after Thanksgiving has always been a fun day for me. However, I have to preface that statement with a short back story. When my parents first moved up here almost 15 years ago, I was devastated. They left behind the most wonderful family home ever; deep in the woods with lots of space and charm. The joy of going home for the holidays was forever extinguished. But that first year they were here, we started a new tradition: shopping for my Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving. In those days, we went to the old Lyndale Garden Center. It was the Disney World for Christmas decorating. It was always quite a production to pick out the PERFECT tree. Then we would shove it in the trunk of their Buick Park Avenue and my dad and I would get it set up while my mom supervised.
A week before Thanksgiving 2004, my dad became very ill and spent a number of days in the hospital with what turned out to be a serious staph infection. When he was discharged the day before Thanksgiving, we struggled with what to do with our holiday. We decided to wait until Sunday to have our Thanksgiving dinner. On the day after Thanksgiving, I went over, traded my car for the Park Avenue and went to Lyndale Garden Center myself and got my tree. While I was able to set it up by myself, it was a sad time. That year became a catalyst of sorts for new traditions. It was either that year or the next that I bought an artificial, pre-lit tree at the end of the season. It was on sale. It was so much easier. It was also something I thought I could never do. But the time had come.
As the years have gone by, more holiday traditions have changed, primarily due to the advanced age of my parents. We have now divided up the hosting duties with me taking over Christmas Dinner. Since I do the cooking, I have decided that we will honor our British side and have a standing rib roast. The Russells love their prime rib and Yorkshire pudding! My mom still does the Christmas Eve buffet, but as of late, we are doing it after Christmas, when my brother and his girlfriend can join us. Since our celebrations have always leaned toward the secular, the actual date that we can all be together is what is most important to us.
My mother has struggled the most with letting go of the holiday traditions of the past. I also used to resist changing such cherished activities. But in the past year or two, I feel as though we have turned a corner and are now in a place where we can embrace the traditions we have. When we are able to be flexible, we release our grip on those from years gone by, and cherish them instead, as happy memories.