30 Days of Gratitude: Independence
I remember playing piano for a friend/colleague’s wedding back in 1994 or 1995. As the ceremony began, the officiant (I do not recall the denomination) stated that “it is God’s plan that we do not go through life alone.” I remember being struck by that. It felt so….inaccurate. I struggled to make sense of it, given that back then, as I approached the ripe old age of 30, I felt happy as a clam being single.
That was 20 years ago. Since then, I have observed married people and other single people and I have become firmly convinced that not all of us are wired to be paired off. I think one of the biggest factors that drives people to pair off, along with societal pressure, is loneliness. I am never lonely. Recently I decided that I am actually an outgoing introvert. Google it, it’s quite fascinating. Despite my gregarious nature, I most love being at home with my dogs and my music. I make myself good meals – not out of a box. I garden. I write. I aspire to get back at the piano.
There is truly no time that I look around my small house and wish someone else was there. I love the quiet, even though I am actually a loud person! I have to confess: on more than one occasion while home alone, I have burst into loud singing, or even dancing! With a few exceptions, I travel alone. I rejoiced when I first could afford my own hotel room when traveling with others.
I do think the main reason I am not lonely is that I have wonderful friendships with other humans and strong bonds with my dogs. I have my go-to people for advice and counseling. I also do stuff. Lots of stuff. With other people. For me that is enough. I like to think that many would consider me a good friend. However, I’m not sure I would have the capacity to give much more to the same person day in and day out. And I clearly have no extra closet space.
For me, independence means I get to do exactly what I want every minute of every day...except when I’m at work. Oh, and there is that whole going to work thing... But speaking of work, I am fortunate to earn a salary that allows me to afford a very full and active lifestyle. The longer I live this way, the less I am able to imagine what it would be like to be paired up with someone. And I’m grateful that I don’t have to even consider it.