Honoring My Inner Goldilocks

Otherwise Known as Curating a Life

Once upon a time, I competed in the dog sport of flyball. For the uninitiated, flyball is a race between two four-dog teams. Here’s a video. In this particular race, the first two dogs on the team were mine, and the second two dogs belonged to a friend of mine. At that time, the team we’d been members of had disintegrated to the point where it was just three of us. Within a couple of weeks, I’d be picked up by another team and my friend would take her remaining dogs to the team she’d already joined.

Those years were a lot of fun, but also quite stressful. I never found the “perfect” team among the five or so teams I ran with. There’d be perfect moments, but they were often offset by some that were quite upsetting. Personalities among the human members often clashed. I have a strong personality, so I take full responsibility for my contributions to those upsetting times. After about 10 years, I’d achieved the one big goal I’d been striving for and promptly quit.

I’ve never looked back. I think I’ve dropped in on one tournament and was stunned that I lasted as long as I did amidst the noise and chaos.

It’s amazing our capacity to adapt when we need to. In looking back at my old lawyer job, I can detect similarities in the experiences. One exception? I had no ability to change teams or adjust my working conditions beyond shutting my office door.

At least I had an office.

Nowadays, I revel in the freedom to mostly choose how I spend my time and with whom. A year ago I wrote a post entitled "In Defense of Giving Up." At that time, I’d come off a summer of experimentation, with some epic fails. But with the passage of time, I’ve come to understand that I’ve probably overused the concept of failure.

Sometimes, the porridge is just too hot. Or the bed is too soft.

I recently gave an interview for a monthly magazine in San Diego and as we were wrapping up, the reporter asked me if I had any advice to give.

Yikes. Did not see that one coming. After all, who am I to give advice about anything to anyone? That said, I’d like to think I’m above average in thinking on my feet, and I managed to rattle off something the writer found worthy of incorporating in the article as a standalone quote:

When I think about my purpose as a writer, I think about inspiring others to act courageously; to examine their own lives and question whether improvements can be made; to be vulnerable; to balance self care with care for others. While each can be a lofty aspiration, I’m living proof that even the tiniest of adjustments can reap huge rewards.

A comfy bed helps promote a good night’s sleep. Goldilocks was on to something.

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