Managing Envy

But I Digress...August 2024

Let me just start by saying I’m rarely prone to envy. But like most people, it pinches me now and again, usually when I’m comparing myself/my situation/my finances/my dog training/my master bathroom to others.

What’s the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy?”

These days, I’m much better at catching myself in the act and allowing myself to process the feeling. In the old days, I’d sink deeper and deeper into some sort of negative quicksand—ultimately generating some pretty unhelpful feelings about the source of my envy.

Ugh.

Recently, I’ve battled feelings of envy when I hear about friends’ fantastic trips, new kitchens, fun concert experiences, and success in dog competitions.

I’ve also found myself just a wee bit jealous of all the successful authors out there—with their huge followings on social media and all sorts of opportunities to make a difference. Some of them churn out a new book every couple of years and it’s an instant best seller.

What’s different for me these days, is I’m much more quick to notice the feeling.

And when I notice the feeling, I ask myself about it: why do I feel that way? For example, when I find myself envious of someone’s fabulous trip, I review the choices I’ve made that make such travel unavailable to me. I have two dogs that need care if I want to jet across the pond—or even just to San Diego—and and they are more important to me than seeing the world. I’ve spent (what there is of) my discretionary income on things that bring me joy, like my gardens and my camper. I chose to leave my high-paying job rather than work longer for a bigger pension.

I haven’t regretted that choice for one minute. The best way to empower myself and show envy the door is to simply remind myself of all the joy that choice has provided.

I also remind myself that I don’t really like big concert events anymore. In fact, my low back hates them. 🥴

When I’m envious of other authors, I stop to think about how they all started with much less than what they have currently. They’ve also worked really hard. Maybe they have connections that I don’t have, but they worked those connections to their advantage, and so can I.

I ask myself constantly how hard do I really want to work? After taking a couple months off from promotion and marketing, my envy of other authors finally motivated me to get back on that horse and push for more opportunities to get Crossing Fifty-One into the hands of readers. If I don’t, who will? Certainly not envy! 😜 I’m also invigorated by my current work in progress, which feels really good. Being an author involves playing a long game and I’ve recommitted to staying the course!

If I feel envy creep in, I also remind myself that someone once left a comment on one of my Instagram reels that said: “you lead a charmed life.” Yes, indeed I do. 😊

How do you manage envy? Let me know in the comments!

See you next month!

~ Debbie

Upcoming Events:

Summer Book Fair at the Northtown Mall in Blaine

Come see me this Saturday! I’ll be selling and signing books! 😊📚

August 30th: White Bear Lake Farmers Market

I’m grateful to Lake Country Booksellers for the opportunity to sign books from 10-11:30 a.m. as part of White Bear Lake’s weekly Farmers Market! They are one of the oldest indie bookstores in Minnesota!

Two great things I read this month:

Here in Minnesota, we are in the prime of sweet corn season. Corn is my favorite vegetable, except I’ve always thought it didn’t really count as a vegetable. Then I read this article which encouraged us to eat more corn!

If you’re like me, and struggle to believe your friends really like you, this is a perfect guide on how to strengthen friendships.

August Book Recommendations:

Fiction: Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult

For those of us who left the Covid-19 pandemic in the rearview mirror, this book will drag you right back into the thick of it. I was impressed with the amount of research that went into the writing of the book and, to be honest, a bit envious. 😉

Nonfiction: Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World--And Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Hans Rosling

This book is data-driven, which may be a little dry for some, but data is what shapes my understanding of many things. These times seem extra stressful and scary, so why not get some data on how things really are?