Mother's Day and Mental Health Month
But I Digress...May 2026
It’s nesting season here at Russell’s Rustic Retreat, and it won’t be long before we’re overrun with fledglings and babies of all sorts: squirrels, bunnies, woodchucks, and (although we really don’t need any more) fawns. The baby bunny nests are the most disconcerting, as the dogs almost always find them before I do, and then there’s a whole lot of chaos. If only the bunnies could locate their nurseries a bit farther from our walking trails.
But I digress…
The thing I love most about mothers in the wild is their no-nonsense approach to the job. Many years ago, I wrote about my obsession with a cardinal family that had nested in a spot I deemed way too precarious. If you missed it the first time, you can read it here:
The point of that post was, in part, to show how not everyone is wired to be a good parent. Since then, I’ve read gobs of articles about how the younger generations are postponing parenthood, or even opting out entirely. I think it takes a significant amount of self-awareness to consider going against what is still considered a biological mandate. After all, birds and other wildlife do whatever they need to do to reproduce. The alternative is extinction.
Human mothers, along with keeping their offspring alive, have the power to impact their children in significant ways. Two male friends of mine each lost his mother this year. For both, it may have been some sense of relief (one of the mothers was 99!), but I know from our past conversations about mothers, their lived experiences could not have been more different. For one, his mother’s passing was mostly, if not entirely relief. For the other, who was very close to his mother, the weight of grief has settled in such a way that he’ll be working through it for awhile.
I’ve written about the mother wound in the past, and mine’s still pretty deep. However, a certain strength has helped to dull that pain, by way of scars that accumulate every time I’m reminded that our relationship is purely performative. I’ll never get what I need, she does not have the capacity to be what I need, and I can find peace in that acceptance, rather than continually yearning for something different. These days, that means very minimal contact with her, and maximum contact with others who can give me the love and support I need. Not to mention, I’ve gained lots of good material for my novel!
Through book events and individual conversations, I’ve come to believe that GenX kids have made a concerted effort to not be the same kinds of parents that their parents were. Or, like me and many of my friends, they’ve foregone having kids at all. The world has changed and family farms are on the decline, along with the need to produce free labor. Having a child is expensive and I don’t believe it’s at all selfish to decide you’d rather spend your money on dogs. Or trips. Or plants at the garden center.
I like to promote my book in May and June, for obvious reasons. It takes a deep dive into mental health and addiction treatment over the last one-hundred years. I worry about all the federal cuts to these types of programs going forward, as the youngest generations battle the debilitating effects of social media and AI.
If you buy my book through Bookshop.org, you can designate a portion to your favorite local bookstore. My current favorite is Haven Books and Gifts in Big Lake, Minnesota, but feel free to support your own neighborhood bookstore!
If you’ve read my book, could you do me a solid and leave a review? Reviews are what help other readers find me!
See you next month!
~ Debbie
MAY BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:
Nonfiction: How to Lose Your Mother: a Daughter's Memoir by Molly Jong-Fast
In the interests of full transparency, I felt this could have used a firmer editing pencil. Molly Jong-Fast has a platform and the ability to sell books, plus her mother was super famous, so I’m sure the publisher rushed to get it out. That said, the conflicting feelings she expressed about her mother will resonate with anyone who has struggled with a similar dynamic.
Fiction: Joe Nuthin's Guide to Life by Helen Fisher.
This one made me cry. It’s the story of a good mother and the legacy she leaves behind for her special needs son. Plus it’s British, and I LOVE British fiction!
