Crossing Fifty-Nine

But I Digress...September 2024

This week I turn fifty-nine. It’s an interesting milestone. First, it’s my last birthday in my fifties. Second, it’s the same age at which my physician grandfather succumbed to an asthma attack and passed away. When I was writing the end of Crossing Fifty-One (btw, Amazon has really slashed the prices), I used my grandmother’s diaries to track the last year of his life. He turned fifty-nine in April of 1959 and died the following December—just a few days after filling out an application to be one of the attending physicians at a prominent hospital in San Diego.

The unexpectedness of his passing stings… and I didn’t even know him.

I never considered fifty-nine to be that old, but when I look around and see people much younger than me losing their lives to cancer or car crashes, I realize that each day is precious and tomorrow is not guaranteed, no matter how many days I’ve already put in at this thing called life.

Admittedly, I’ve held myself back with a fair amount of fear around the inadequacies of my physical structure. Some years ago, I was informed that my lumbar spine is about fifteen years older than my chronological age. One knee is bone-on-bone. I walk like (no offense intended) an elderly man, stiffly, with a slight stoop. More recently I started freaking out about what I considered to be excessive hair loss, until I realized that it just feels excessive because my hair is so much longer than it ever was when I was still being a lawyer.

It doesn’t help that we are programmed to view youth with a sort of longing—as if everything would be great if only we were twenty-nine again.

We can approach aging in denial, or we can embrace it. There’s something to be said for weathering storms—whether physical, mental, or emotional. As long as I can get out of bed in the morning, I’m calling it a win. I’ve come to revere those in my life who are older and wiser.

Because my birthday is in September, it’s also the time I pause and take stock of the past year. Summer’s winding down, and I can see what’s worked and what’s failed in my actual gardens, as well as the metaphorical garden of my life.

After conducting my analysis, I’ve concluded that year fifty-eight will finish in the top five of my lifetime. I have no regrets, and can honestly say I’ve made the best of every situation and opportunity that has presented itself—the good, bad, AND the ugly. I’ve also learned how to take full responsibility for the care and feeding of my soul. I’ve left nothing on the field and am so excited for the year ahead.

How do you feel about aging? Let me know in the comments!

~ See you next month!

Debbie

A HUGE THANK YOU!

I just wanted to thank all of you who upgraded your subscriptions in August! I so appreciate the support and am excited to share additional exclusive content with you throughout each month!

Two great things I read this month:

Do you finish every book you start? Here are some arguments for both sides.

What do you think about AI in the arts? Here’s an article from the New Yorker opining that it’s never going to be an adequate substitute.

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

I’m a huge Ryan Holiday fan, and what I like about this podcast is that he intersperses longer interview episodes with shorter snippets that are easily digested.

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

Fiction: The 100 Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin

It’s been a minute since I’ve read a book that moved me to tears. This story provides a wonderful example of how short lives can be as meaningful as long ones and how meaningful friendships make our lives so much better!

NONFICTION: The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha

A friend gave this to me some years ago and while I initially resisted its simplicity, it turns out, simplicity is what makes it so good. Pick what works for you, leave the rest.